Stress test stresses me out

Posted on 25. Jan, 2008 by kchristieh in health, my life, religion

Considering that I fainted in anticipation of a Tine test in 5th grade, it’s not surprising that I nearly fainted when the nurse pumped the nuclear isotope into me at the start of today’s cardiac stress test. At least this time I had the opportunity to find out my blood pressure when I felt woozy: 90 / 52. Yikes!

According to Wikipedia,

A cardiac stress test is a medical test performed to evaluate arterial blood flow to (and indirectly the amount of oxygen that will reach) the myocardium (heart muscle) during physical exercise, compared to blood flow while at rest. As an exercise test, the results can also reflect overall physical fitness. These tests do not assess emotional stress or other connotations of the term.

After the nurse pumped the radioactive isotope into me, I lay on a table for 12 minutes while a nuclear camera went back and forth above me. I had to keep my hands clasped together above my head, which pinched the IV needle. From where I was lying, I could see the computer screen that showed the various scans of my heart. Too bad I didn’t understand them.

Next, I had lots of electrocardiogram (ECG) wires attached to me and ran on a treadmill for awhile. (10 minutes? more?) It seemed like they increased the speed and the angle a lot because I’m in pretty good shape. They wanted to get my heart rate up to a certain level. They took my blood pressure every few minutes, and at the end they pumped more nuclear goo into me.

I was eager for that to end so that I could break the fast I’d had since dinner last night. They had me sit in the waiting room for an hour and a half so that my heart could return to a resting state. I used the time to eat my snack, read a book, and try not to watch “The View” that was playing on the fuzzy tv in the corner.

Finally, I was brought back for more nuclear camera pictures. They asked if I’m flying anytime soon, because if I do, I might get stopped by airport security. Thankfully, I’m not.

I was happy when it was over, and hope to never have to do this again. I won’t know the results until Tuesday, but I’m optimistic that my heart is fine.

Actually, I suspect that the test that I really need is one that tests not how my heart responds to stress, but how much stress I’m already under. The Scientologists give such a test to potential recruits, but I’m not going down the path that my Googleganger did. If you’re ever curious about Scientology, the best and bravest article I’ve ever read on it was the one Mark Ebner wrote for Spy Magazine back in 1996. It should be required reading for anyone thinking of joining. Of course, saying this will probably put me on their enemies list. Whatever.