“No news is no news.”

Posted on 28. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in books, parenting, quotes, work

That’s the quote of the day, courtesy of Tom Reynolds. Whether it means we don’t know about Louise’s surgery yet or I haven’t heard back regarding what a client thinks of a new website design, it’s important not to make something out of nothing.

(However, “Something From Nothing” was one of my kids’ favorite books when they were little. I guess it depends on what you make from nothing!)

Flat Louise

Posted on 28. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in art, health, my life, travel

Have you ever heard of Flat Stanley? He’s a character in a children’s book that gets flattened by a bulletin board and winds up travelling all over the country via snail mail.

Here’s your chance to replicate Flat Stanley’s journey, and brighten a very special girl’s life. My sister’s niece Louise is an amazing kid. (ok, I can barely type that without crying. time out…) Ok. Without going into lots of detail, please believe me when I say that what Louise has accomplished in her 14 years proves that grit, determination and humor have no boundaries. Most of us would crumble under the burden of what Louise’s physical body has dealt her, but she maintains a good attitude and is a beacon to those who have the privilege of knowing her.

As if Louise didn’t have enough to deal with, she’s having major scoliosis surgery tomorrow. Doctors are going to straighten a rod in her back, and Louise is going to have to deal with pain and bedrest for the next seven weeks.

My sister decided that the best gift she could give to Louise would be a way to brighten her days, so we’re asking people from around the country and around the world to download Flat Louise’s passport, take a picture of her on an adventure, and mail it back to my sister. She’ll send them on to Louise. Your adventure doesn’t have to be amazing – even a day at work would be cool! We’d just really appreciate anything you can do to help make Louise’s bedrest more bearable.

Thanks in advance. We can’t wait to see what comes in!

PS – Louise’s Aunt Sonia drew the “Flat Louise” character. Pretty talented!

Woe bee gone

Posted on 26. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, environment

The other day I noticed a bee on our front bench. I didn’t touch it – I figured it wasn’t bothering anyone, so I’d let it bee. (see previous post on spiders) It was still there today, in the same position, so I assume it’s dead.

Perhaps it died from the same thing that National Geographic says is killing bees around the U.S. Whatever it is, it makes adult bees abandon their hives, leaving only the queen bee and the young bees. Scientists call it colony collapse disorder (CCD), and they’re not sure why it occurs. This has terrible ramifications, as not only are bees essential for honey, but they’re part of the pollination chain for many important plants and crops. In fact, almonds are 100% dependent upon bee pollination.

I wonder if it’s related to killer bees? I’m happy not to have them, but I’ll miss their American cousins. Now some beekeepers are importing bees from Australia. Hope they don’t turn out to be killers.

Mama Pop Oscar Challenge

Posted on 25. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in cool websites, movies, tv

The votes are in, and I got a whopping 14 out of 19 Oscar winners correct in the 2007 Mama Pop Oscar Challenge. Not bad considering I’ve only seen two nominated movies this year, Dreamgirls and Cars. But is that good enough to win anything? I’ll find out tomorrow.

Now to go wash up. I touched the perfume samples (my whole family agreed Opium was the clear winner) in O Magazine whilst viewing the Oscars and then rubbed my eyes. Itchy itchy!

 

 

Putting on the dog

Posted on 24. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, my life, shopping, things that bug me

Disturbing news of the day: that faux fur you’re wearing may have been Rover’s.

According to the AP story, Some Coats May Have Fur From Dogs,

That fur trim on your jacket that you think is fake? Tell it to Fido. An animal advocacy group says its investigation has turned up coats — some with designer labels, some at higher-end retailers — with fur from man’s best friend. Some retailers were set scrambling to pull the coats from shelves, take them off Web sites and even offer refunds to consumers.

The Humane Society of the United States said it purchased coats from reputable outlets, such as upscale Nordstrom, with designer labels — Andrew Marc, Tommy Hilfiger, for example — and found them trimmed with fur from domestic dogs, even though the fur was advertised as fake.

I’m not surprised. It’s probably much cheaper to skin a dog than to simulate fake fur. But that doesn’t make it right. 

I wonder if your dog would know if you brought home dog fur, and would hate you for it. Or even worse, what if you made your dog wear a dog fur coat? I don’t think we have any around, but my daughter does have a nice green fake(?) fur-trimmed sweater that I’ll have to investigate, though I don’t have a mass spectrometer around to analyze it.

I think I need a theme song

Posted on 24. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in movies, music, my life, parenting, work

After all, Price Waterhouse-Coopers has one. I read about it in the Slate.com story, And the Oscar for Creative Accounting Goes To …Can PricewaterhouseCoopers be trusted to count the Academy Awards ballots?

Should all this disqualify PwC from being involved in an event so central to popular culture and the entertainment industry? No. One could assemble a similar catalog of doubts for any of the major accounting firms. (Although the firm’s enormously cheesy corporate anthem should disqualify it from being involved in popular culture.) And everybody in Hollywood—agents, producers, studios, distributors—plays games with numbers. In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed auditor is king.

My first job out of graduate school was with Price Waterhouse in Los Angeles. I never counted ballots, though – I was in the Manufacturing Systems Group. I think we all would have laughed our way out of jobs if we’d had a theme song.

If I had a theme song, it’d be Let the River Run by Carly Simon. That song always energizes me, much to the chagrin of my children.

It ain’t your momma’s PTA

Posted on 23. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, education, feminism, my life, parenting, things that bug me, work

My mom says that my NJ elementary school’s PTA raised several hundred dollars a year in the early 70′s. Oh, how times have changed! Today’s NYTimes article by Winnie Hu, PTAs Go Way Beyond Cookies, says that some PTAs in the NY area have budgets of $45,000 or more. That’s a fraction of what some of our town’s PTAs raise to try to make up for all the programs and services that have been cut back since Californians passed Proposition 13 in 1978. When you add what our Educational Foundation, Boosters and other groups raise, a significant percentage of our school district’s budget comes from parent donations.

As the article points out, you can’t make that kind of money if PTA meetings are just a fashion show. Many suburban towns have a very talented pool of working and non-working parents (mostly moms) who bring a high level of professionalism to their assigned tasks. They continually raise the bar, which is wonderful but also challenging to those who come behind them. When I was an elementary school PTA president, I had about 90 board and committee chair positions under me. From the art docent chair who organized a parent to teach art lessons in each classroom each month to the carnival chair who raised tens of thousands of dollars on a single event, I was blessed with a board that could have run a Fortune 500 company. Being our junior high PTA president is much easier, since we don’t have as many activities, but the people who work with me are just as qualified.

The article says that parents are often an annoyance to administrators and teachers, letting districts know what they think needs to be changed. I see how that can be annoying, but I also see that some good things can happen when you push people out of their complacency. Parents who have worked in the business world, where bad ideas can be thrown out and poorly performing workers can be fired, get very frustrated at the bureaucratic walls they find in school districts and the educational codes they need to follow.

Some of the parents the reporter talked to said they thought their PTAs were run by cliques. I can see how that can happen – when you want a job done, you’re more likely to turn to someone you know can do it well. Still, that doesn’t make it right. I try to open things up by publicizing volunteer opportunities via our printed newsletter and my regular emails, which go to over 1,000 parents. We’ve had good success in getting some new faces to volunteer for jobs, and at least when they don’t, we know they had the chance to.

Of course, if I really cared about my career, I wouldn’t admit that I’m a PTA president. Yesterday’s NY Times article, Mom’s Mad. And She’s Organized, relates how working moms are organizing to fight for their rights. Here’s the part that I could relate to the most:

But many studies indicate that, legal or not, a woman’s status as a mother hurts her at work.

In one study, to be published next month in the American Journal of Sociology, Cornell researchers sent out résumés and cover letters to real employers for hypothetical job applicants. All had the same credentials, but the packages included subtle cues to indicate that some of the applicants were parents. (For example, a résumé might note that an applicant was an officer in a parent-teacher association.)

The goal was to find out if employers are less likely to pursue an interview if they find out that a candidate is a parent, said Shelley Correll, an associate professor of sociology at Cornell, who helped conduct the study. And the answer was “yes for mothers, no for fathers.”

I’ve remarked lately that I seem to not be able to charge as much on my own for a website as I can when I have my older, taller, male business partner bid on them. It’s frustrating, but a 40-something mom is sometimes just not the image people have of someone they want to design their website. So much for my degrees, experience and talent! Anyway, I’ll check out the site this article refers to, MomsRising.org. And of course, I’ll keep trying hard to prove I can do it as well as any 22-year-old male recent art/technical school grad…

The clipart above is courtesy of http://www.larryjonesillustration.com/

Color stars

Posted on 22. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in art, cool websites

Here’s a cool website I found today: Colors in Motion. It has a Flash animation that allows you to click on various colors and see who their friends are (actually their complementary colors), their positive traits, negative traits, and what they mean around the world. For example, Purple is friends with Yellow, and connotes wealth in various cultures. It has a positive trait of being dignified, but can also come off as aloof. Here’s a screenshot:

Jack Bauer would want this

Posted on 21. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in parenting, shopping, technical

Suspicious of what your child, co-worker or spouse is doing on the computer? Then slip the SnoopStick into their computer, install the setup program, and take it out. It takes less than 60 seconds. Here’s what the SnoopStick website says this will allow you to do:

Any time you want to see what web sites your kids or employees are visiting, who they are chatting with, and what they are chatting about, simply plug in your SnoopStick to any Windows based computer with an Internet connection and a USB port. SnoopStick will automatically connect to the target computer.

Monitor both sides of IM conversations in real time or tell SnoopStick to display recent activity. Check the sender and recipient of every email sent or received. You can even log the user off, disable internet access, set time restrictions or even turn the computer off. All using your SnoopStick from any computer.

EASY TO USE! There are no commands to remember, no passwords to remember, just plug it in.

Amazing. I wonder what the legal bounds of this are? I’m sure you’re ok checking on a home computer, but can you check on an employee without their knowledge? I’m sure you can’t legally check on a co-worker or any other person. They don’t talk about that on their website, perhaps because the laws might be different in each state. Anyway, approach with caution. Besides, if you suspect something, there might be other ways to deal with it, like confronting the person directly.

How much can you forgive?

Posted on 20. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in cool websites, parenting, quotes, religion

Could you forgive a man who repeatedly tortures and rapes you? How about the doctors who failed to recognize your daughter’s serious illness? Or the man who murdered your husband?

It’s difficult, but some people find a way to forgive others who have hurt them to the core. Many of their stories are detailed at The Forgiveness Project website.

The Forgiveness Project is a young charitable organisation – with no political or religious affiliations – working at a local, national and international level to promote conflict resolution and restorative practices as alternatives to the endless cycles of conflict, violence and crime that are the hallmarks of our time.

Through collecting and sharing personal stories, and delivering educational and self-help programmes, The Forgiveness Project aims to reframe the debate about how individuals and communities can learn to celebrate difference and overcome division, thereby fostering positive social change.

The common thread to their stories is that the victims feel a burden lifted by forgiving those who hurt them, and the perpetrators feel as if they have been given a gift that allows them to move on to live a life of honor.

In Velvet Elvis, Rob Bell says something to the effect of “All truth is God’s truth.” One of Christianity’s basic tenets is that of forgiveness. Whether it’s divine or earthly, forgiveness is invaluable.

Here’s a quote I like from Thomas Szasz:

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.

And of course, all of this ties in to my previous post…

Can what you do on YouTube damn you forever?

Posted on 17. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, religion

If you want to declare your beliefs to the world, you probably won’t find a more effective public forum than YouTube. Therefore, it’s not surprising that the NY Times reports in Taking the Debate About God Online, and Battling It Out With Videos that there’s a website called Blasphemy Challenge that is encouraging people to post videos that deny God’s existence on YouTube. As a counterpoint, there’s also a group called Challenge Blasphemy that’s asking people to put videos on YouTube that declare their faith in God.

When I read this, my first reaction was fascination that YouTube has evolved into such a public forum that it’s being used for this purpose. But as I read on, I became disturbed by the fact that the Blasphemy Challenge site tells people that blasphemy is an unforgiveable sin.

You may damn yourself to Hell however you would like, but somewhere in your video you must say this phrase: “I deny the Holy Spirit.”

Why? Because, according to Mark 3:29 in the Holy Bible, “Whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin.” Jesus will forgive you for just about anything, but he won’t forgive you for denying the existence of the Holy Spirit. Ever. This is a one-way road you’re taking here.

I’ve always been taught that Jesus Christ will forgive all sins. The verse is quoted correctly above. I did a little searching, and found what I think is a good explanation of why posting a blasphemous video on YouTube can be forgiven:

There’s been a ton of concern by various parties over this verse in Mark, with some wondering if they have committed this “unpardonable sin” of blaspheming the Holy Ghost, and this is held against the Acts verse by skeptics. But the discussion really warrants no consternation by the believer because the “unpardonable sin” is this and nothing more: UNBELIEF. Thus, there is no contradiction with Acts 13:39 at all, for it sets as a pre-condition, “those who believe” — and once you believe, you are of course “justified” from your unbelief!

So, believing in the power of the Holy Spirit is in itself a rebuke of blasphemy, so anyone who believes is forgiven. Hopefully people who post blasphemous videos on YouTube will discover that they can be forgiven.

We are Devo. D-E-V-O.

Posted on 16. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, health, international, politics

I’m not kidding: there’s a fascinating editorial about atavism* titled “Tails tell us we’ve evolved” in today’s Los Angeles Times. It points out that the fact that ancestral traits sometimes reappear after thousands or millions of years actually lends credence to evolutionary theory.

In fact, Le Page suggests, atavisms like tails on humans are the exceptions that prove the evolutionary rule. Atavisms are possible, he says, because genes for primitive traits haven’t disappeared from the genome; they simply have been switched off. In rare cases, they are switched back on (and then the tails are promptly snipped off). Sometimes, Le Page adds, so-called reverse evolution serves the cause of improving a species by allowing it to adapt to a changed environment.
Atavism isn’t the only explanation for the reappearance of a seemingly extinct trait or body part. It’s also possible that some life forms that have lost a certain trait evolve it again “from scratch,” through the same mutations that produced it in the first place. After all, different species sometimes develop similar features separately — a process known as “convergent evolution.”

But the existence of atavism complicates the case against evolution. Far from undermining Darwinism, throwbacks challenge the creationist idea that every living species emerged full-blown in its present form. Atavism is impossible unless there’s something to throw back to — like an ancestor with a tail that nobody wanted to snip off.

I’m not sure what traits of my long-ago ancestors I’d want to have, but there have got to be some. (Ha! Maybe I have some!) Besides calling someone “shallow,” one of the worst things one could say in my junior high about someone was that they were “primitive.” Perhaps it wasn’t so bad after all…

NOTE: When I went to Google Images to search for a picture to put with this post, I thought I’d find a funny cartoon. Instead, I instantly found this picture of a child in India with a “tail.” Not only that, but it was on a creationism website. So, obviously, the same event can be interpreted different ways. Looks like a tail to me. Glad I don’t have one!

* Defined as “The reappearance in an organism of characteristics of some remote ancestor after several generations of absence.”

Manly man, pig version

Posted on 14. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in cool websites

Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s a Pearls Before Swine cartoon to help you celebrate.

All we have to do is change one letter

Posted on 13. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in art, international, politics

Great cartoon from Slate.com:

Hmm. See the post below. Maybe W wrestled with reality and won. The guy on the ladder does look like a rabbit… 

Wrestling with reality, and winning

Posted on 13. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in movies, quotes

“I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.”

- Elwood P. Dowd (Jimmy Stewart) in Harvey

(overheard today on Turner Classic Movies, while drying my hair)

Bastards of the Party

Posted on 12. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in tv

Did you know that L.A.’s first street gangs were formed as a survival response to the racism that Blacks faced as they integrated schools in areas such as Compton? Or that Los Angeles Police Chief William H. Parker recruited Southern white police officers with military backgrounds to come work in L.A.? I didn’t know any of this until our family watched Bastards of the Party last night on HBO. (We had Tivo’d it.) It recounts the history of L.A.’s Black gangs from the 1930′s to the present, and does a good job of explaining how and why gangs evolved to where they are today.

The narrator, Cle “Bone” Sloan, presents an intelligent and insightful look at how this translates into his life and the lives of his contemporaries. He’s very introspective, and is searching for ways to help bring himself and his community away from this insanity.

I hope he succeeds, and I hope that more people see this great documentary so they can understand why things are the way they are, and how destructive gangs can be.

Barack Obama is running for president!

Posted on 12. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in politics

Woohoo!! I’m happy. I hope he wins.

See more at http://www.barackobama.com/

Get that monkey off my back!

Posted on 10. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in art, my life, work

Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I’m never fully at rest unless I clear out my email inbox. This happens about once every two months. Pretty pathetic. It indicates a good work ethic, but I probably need to relax more.

It happened this evening. But while I was writing this post, I got a few more emails. I think I can clear them out pretty quickly, however. It’s like throwing the ball back into the other court.

I love this Jennifer Morgan print – it reminds me of what I feel like until the inbox is cleared. I like it when the monkey jumps from my back and runs up the street. I think it goes and plays at the park for a few days, then comes back when it misses me.

Sneeze into your sleeve

Posted on 09. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, health, videos

Here’s an unusual public health campaign out of Toronto: “Do the Sleeve Sneeze.” (Try saying it fast!) They’re trying to get the word out that sneezing into your sleeve is safer than into your hands since your hands wind up touching things that other people touch. There’s even a great video that explains the concept, complete with international judges rating varied coughing and sneezing techniques.

Anyone who rides the TTC has likely experienced the alarm of being hacked-on by some phlegm-filled nosewiper. Then there’s the problem of watching someone cough into their hand, only to offer it in greeting moments later. This is why your friendly neighbourhood Toronto Public Health department wants everyone to learn to sneeze and cough into their sleeves.

The City’s “Do The Sleeve Sneeze” awareness campaign launched earlier this month with posters visible in clinics, subways and transit shelters. Public Health says that the spread of germs is particularly significant via door handles, subway poles, and the dirtiest part of your workspace: your telephone, mouse and keyboard. Eww.

Now to convince people that it’s the polite thing to do…

Parent Ed. – I finally made the plunge

Posted on 08. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in parenting

We’re very fortunate in our community to have a terrific Parent Education program through La Canada Presbyterian Church. It happens to be my church, but lots of people attend the program who aren’t church members.

Anyway, the last time I attended Parent Ed. was when my kids were in preschool. I’ve either been too busy since then, or didn’t feel the need to go. But now that I have two teens, I finally decided to check out the parenting teens class. I was on the waiting list all fall, but finally got to start today.

It was terrific. We talked about curfews, negotiations, and how to communicate with your teens. We also shared some local resources, and talked about a few specific issues people had. It was great!

Now to get it all to work in our family…

He’s sprouting

Posted on 08. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in my life, parenting

My baby, my 13-year-old son, woke up this morning as tall as me. He must have had an overnight growth spurt. Even his older sister, who remains an inch taller than both of us, agrees that he’s my height.

I got tears in my eyes. I’m so happy for him. This is the first height milestone he’s ever met.

The next milestone will be when he’s as tall as his sister. My husband and I think people might mistake them for twins. Our daughter is appalled by that idea. She loves him, but I think she likes being #1.

Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!

Posted on 07. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, tv, videos

Sometimes the most fascinating part of a story or a picture is the subtext. That’s how the following picture from today’s LA Times California section is for me. The caption of the picture says, “TENSION: LAPD Lt. Lieutenant Robert Rooney, left, talks with George Sarabia, a former resident of Ramona Gardens. Three witnesses disagree with the police account of an altercation at the housing project that ended with the death of Mauricio Cornejo.”

What most intrigues me is that there are at least three people in the picture with recording devices. (Note the red circles I’ve added.) When George Holliday videotaped the police beating Rodney King in 1991, it was extraordinary that someone would actually be on hand with a videocamera. Today, there are so many cellphones, digital cameras and small video cameras around that there would likely be several people who would make a recording. In fact, in my purse alone, I’ve got a cellphone with a camera and a digital camera that takes videos worthy of YouTube.

I’m sure the police are well aware of this. Hopefully it encourages good behavior on the part of everyone…but that’s not always the case.

Don’t eat anything your great-great-grandma wouldn’t recognize

Posted on 06. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, food, life lessons, shopping

That’s my favorite advice from Michael Pollan’s recent NY Times Magazine article, “Unhappy Meals.”

It’s a wonderful, long article, but it distills advice into some easy-to-remember points, such as “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” He advises the following at the end of the article:

1. “Eat food.” Pollan says the point to remember is: “Don’t eat anything your great-great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food.”
2. “Avoid even those food products that come bearing health claims. They’re apt to be heavily processed, and the claims are often dubious at best.”
3. “Especially avoid food products containing ingredients that are a) unfamiliar, b) unpronounceable c) more than five in number — or that contain high-fructose corn syrup.”
4. “Get out of the supermarket whenever possible. You won’t find any high-fructose corn syrup at the farmer’s market; you also won’t find food harvested long ago and far away.”
5. “Pay more, eat less.” I’m a big believer in this. I figure that paying more for fruit and vegetables saves in health costs down the road. And, eating less is obviously good for many of us.
6. “Eat mostly plants, especially leaves.”
7. “Eat more like the French. Or the Japanese. Or the Italians. Or the Greeks.” Pollan advises eating according to some tradition, so things balance out.
8. “Cook. And if you can, plant a garden.” Hope Dream Dinners count!
9. “Eat like an omnivore. Try to add new species, not just new foods, to your diet.” As my economics teacher used to say, “Diversification reduces risk.”

Anyway, it’ll be hard to follow all of these, but it’s good to try.

Subscribe to a blog with Blogarithm

Posted on 05. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in cool websites

Yay! Blogarithm works! Every day I find an email in my inbox (ok, I have to check the spam folder) from Blogarithm with a list of the new postings on my favorite blogs. It’s so much easier to keep up with bloggers this way than to have to check their blogs each day.

You can visit www.blogarithm.com to sign up. It’s free. You can also click from the link to the right.

Do you have a baditude?

Posted on 05. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles

That’s my new word for the day, from a Slate.com article.

bad + attitude = baditude

Better than Brangelina or Tomkat, though feel free to have a baditude about either of those…

Follow the SuperBowl with MamaPop

Posted on 04. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles, cool websites, food, my life, parenting, sports, tv, work

I LOVE the SuperBowl! I get to catch up on work while the rest of the world eats guacamole and watches tv, and no one emails me!

But this year is different: I have discovered MamaPop. They’ve got a liveblog going with comments on each commercial, play, etc. of today’s game.

So, once I change into some shorts (it’s 86 degrees here in L.A.!) and sneak a few more cookies up to my desk, I’ll multitask and:

• work
• blog
• read today’s NYTimes Magazine (designer dogs!)
• listen to the game on the tv my husband and son are watching behind me
• continually check MamaPop

Life is good. Besides, I need a break after driving to/from San Bernardino already today for my son’s (losing) soccer game.

Milena’s Mentor

Posted on 03. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in articles

How fortunate for Milena Slatten that Thomas Higgins has taken her under his wings. The Los Angeles Times profiled Milena and Tom in yesterday’s article titled “Milena’s mentor stays on the case.” Tom, a 56-year-old Los Angeles city prosecutor, met Milena when he showed up at a potential mentor meeting at Covenant House, the Hollywood shelter where the now 20-year-old Milena was living. She called him the next day and asked him for a job, so he found one at his office. Tom and his wife have sometimes spent 50-60 hours a month taking Milena to dinner, shopping, etc., and have become quite attached to her.

It hasn’t always been easy going. Milena recently went back East to try reconciling with the foster father she had previously accused of abuse. And, it seems like she’s had such bad experiences ever since her childhood in the Soviet Union that she’s afraid to be loved. But throughout it all, Tom sticks with her.

If I kept a hero list, Tom would definitely be on it. He proves that we all have something to offer, to make the world a better place.

Open mouth, insert foot

Posted on 02. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in my life, videos

I’m sure I’m not the only one who says something stupid or insensitive in front of a particular person, but then isn’t sure if apologizing for it will make it worse.

I’ve done this a few times lately. Like when I described the World of Warcraft expert in the South Park video on YouTube as “a big fat guy at a computer” in front of some overweight women. Or when I was chatting with a blind friend at a conference about how happy I was to be there and to “see so many people.” Or when I recounted to a group of friends what I learned in French class 25 years ago about French men and mistresses, only to remember that one of them had lived in France, and would know much more than I would on the subject.

Maybe they’re reading this blog and will know how sorry I am. But I suspect that to apologize to them in person would blow it all out of proportion.

The Overachievers

Posted on 01. Feb, 2007 by kchristieh in books, education, life lessons, parenting

Our PTA book group met for the second time today, and we discussed The Overachievers by Alexandra Robbins. Here’s how Amazon describes it:

In this engrossing anthropological study of the cult of overachieving that is prevalent in many middle- and upper-class schools, Robbins (Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities) follows the lives of students from a Bethesda, Md., high school as they navigate the SAT and college application process. These students are obsessed with success, contending with illness, physical deterioration (senior Julie is losing hair over the pressure to get into Stanford), cheating (students sell a physics project to one another), obsessed parents (Frank’s mother manages his time to the point of abuse) and emotional breakdowns. What matters to them is that all-important acceptance to the right name-brand school. “When teenagers inevitably look at themselves through the prism of our overachiever culture,” Robbins writes, “they often come to the conclusion that no matter how much they achieve, it will never be enough.”

I wish the book wasn’t called “The Overachievers.” Several people I talked to said they didn’t feel it was relevant to them since they don’t consider their child an overachiever. But Robbins’ book doesn’t just focus on top students: it also focuses on the effect that excessive expectations to succeed can have on students. The most easily visible measure of success for many is what college they get into, so it’s not surprising that many of the students and their parents in the book obsess about this.

This was good for me to read this week as my children took finals. I kept telling them that I was impressed that they were working hard and yet finding balance in their lives, and that that was more important than the final grade. Besides learning from the mistakes of others in the book, I also appreciated the candid portrait of what modern suburban high school life can be like.

My daughter read this last summer before she entered high school, and learned many different lessons from it. The obvious lesson is that you can knock yourself out to the point of exhaustion, and still not get into a top school. On the other hand, she also saw how hard some kids work, and that if she does have high goals for herself, she’ll have to work hard for them.

I’ll try to get my son to read it before he enters high school. It’ll be interesting to see what he gleans from it.