KChristieH Blog

After months of testing several book trading sites, the results are in: Bookins wins by a long shot. It beats PaperBackSwap and Swaptree on every measure.

Here’s why I prefer Bookins:

• I don’t have to pay to ship books to other people. I only pay to have books shipped to me. That seems obvious, but that’s not how PaperBackSwap or Swaptree work. I’ve shipped out nine books via PaperBackSwap, and had to pay the shipping for each one.
• Bookins acknowledges that books can have different values. That old paperback copy is worth less credits than a new hardcover bestseller.
• I get more books via Bookins. I’ve shipped out 16 books and received 12. I have yet to receive a single book from PaperBackSwap, and I don’t want to read the books that Swaptree says I’m eligible for if I trade my books.
• Shipping is EASY with Bookins. I hate waiting in the long line at our local post office. Bookins allows me to print a label, tape it to a shipping envelope with a book inside, and drop it in a mailbox. It doesn’t get much easier.
• Bookins automatically sends me books that are on my wishlist as they become available. I still don’t completely understand the Swaptree logic, and as I said, PaperBackSwap seems to have forgotten all about me.

Here are the books I’ve received so far. As you can see, they’re all fairly current:

• The Boleyn Inheritance
• My Life in France
• The Fourth Bear: A Nursery Crime
• Born to Kvetch: Yiddish Language and Culture in All Its Moods
• Atonement: A Novel (I’ve already traded it away again)
• The View from the Seventh Layer
• Three Cups of Tea: One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time
• The Secret River
• Cloud Atlas: A Novel
• What Is the What
• The Abstinence Teacher (I’ve already traded it away again)
• Pontoon: A Lake Wobegon Novel

Now to find time to read them all!

Please join Bookins! The more people that join, the better all of our selections will be!! Click here to join.

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Would you want this man to be your child’s Facebook friend?

Unfortunately, this person had “friended” 17 of our local freshmen and sophomores before I was able to figure out how to report him and ask Facebook to shut him down.*

Big kudos to Facebook: within minutes, he disappeared from the site.

Parents, this is one more reason to make sure you discuss internet safety with your kids and have a good idea of what they’re doing online. This guy’s Wall included comments from kids saying, “Who are you?” but they “friended” him anyway.

I just got lucky to see this…but I may not next time. I’ve never seen anything like this before, on either MySpace or Facebook, and I don’t want to again. Let’s all be on the lookout for our kids’ safety.

By the way, this also prompted me to make sure my kids have their profiles set so that only friends can see them. Otherwise, even if my kids are being careful about who they friend, some sketchy guy who’s their friend’s friend would be able to see their profile. Yikes!

* I was able to see his profile, and clicked on “Report” at the bottom of his page. However, I don’t see that at the bottom of all pages. When I clicked on Help / Safety & Security / Report Abuse, I filled out a form, hit submit, and got the error message to the right.

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When I started blogging over two years ago, I had no idea how much time and energy I’d wind up putting into it. I’ve tried to post at least one item a day, but at this rate I’m averaging a little more than that. On this, the occasion of my 1,000th post, I thought I’d try to analyze why I bother blogging.

• I’ve always liked to write, but hadn’t done much in recent years until I started blogging. I was the rare engineer who was an editor for the college newspaper. I’ve never dreamed of writing The Great American Novel, but I do like to express myself via the written word. I also think that the more that I write, the better writer I become. Maybe I’m just getting quicker at it.
• Blogging expands my world. I’m always on the lookout for good subjects to write about, and that often leads me to investigate new areas of interest. I also appreciate the connections I make to people all over the world.
• Blogging reminds me to count my blessings, and help others in need. I’ve blogged about so many injustices over the years that I’m continually reminded to do what I can to help others less fortunate than myself. Hopefully getting the word out is part of that.
• Ever since the advent of email and online newspapers, I’ve been a one-woman news clipping service. For years I’ve emailed relevant articles to friends, relatives and coworkers. Blogging expands my scope, and now nearly 3,000 people a day read what I write about.
• I have many opinions about things, and blogging allows me to refine and express them. Because there are many people in my town that read my blog, so I’m careful to back up my opinions carefully enough so that I’ll stand behind them if someone challenges me at the grocery store. So far that hasn’t happened, but I have had some good discussions with people who’ve read my blog.
• My little brain can only hold so much information, so my blog acts as a repository for things I don’t want to forget. (e.g., “spinach flan”)
• Although I’m careful not to share too many personal details, especially about my innocent family members who have nothing to do with blogging, my blog acts as a chronicle of my life. Someday when I die, hopefully someone will set up a laptop with my blog on it in the narthex. Or maybe my great-grandchildren will read this someday and get a better sense of what inspired their geeky granny.
• It’s fun, probably for all the above reasons. If I didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t do it. The day it becomes a chore will be the day I stop.

Here’s a Pearls Before Swine cartoon on the topic:

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According to the Pinkberry website, here’s what’s in the plain frozen yogurt:

If you can’t read that, they are: skim milk, nonfat yogurt with live and active cultures, sucrose, fructose, dextrose, nonfat dry milk, nonfat dry yogurt, citric acid, Contains less than 2%: maltodextrin, mono- and diglycerides, sodium citrate, sodiaum acid pyrophospate, magnesium oxide, lactoglycerides, propylene glycol esters, guar gum, calcium fumarate, soy lecithin, starch, added color, yellow 5 lake, natural and artificial flavors, ascorbic acid (vitamin C) tocopherol (to maintain freshness). At least Pinkberry lists its ingredients. I couldn’t find a list of ingredients on the Ce Fiore or Yolicious websites.

Unfortunately, this is unlikely to completely stop me from going to Pinkberry or its competitors. But I’ll probably cut back.

We went to a fantastic Mother’s Day dinner last night at the Crepe Vine in Pasadena. We all loved our meals. I had a chicken and mushroom crepe for dinner, and a Moulin crepe with bananas, rum and ice cream for dessert. Yum! Not cheap, however. I need to make this at home. Haha. Then again, I’d get HUGE!

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I think we laugh the most at what’s most familiar. That’s probably why I couldn’t stop laughing as I read the postings on the hilarious website, “Postcards from Yo Momma.” The site features some of the funniest emails that mothers have sent to their children. I would never expose my mother’s emails to the world, but according to Newsweek, the founders’ moms are totally proud of their daughters’ endeavor.

Here are a few of my faves:

• “You will too get married (if that is what you want). My daughter is a nice person…just let me at that person who called you a late 20’s bitter female.”
• “Just wanted to say hi. I know you’re probably busy getting caught up at work after last week. I hope you enjoyed the plays. Did you get the movie I sent you? Today is our 31st anniversary. We are eating leftovers for dinner, and I was bit by a dog this morning. I’m not foaming at the mouth, so far. The fun never ends. Love, Mom”
• “I love you. I will pray for you. Be sure and take some kind of i.d. so if your plane crashes and burns they will know who to call. Hope you do that on all your trips anyway. That way if I don’t get a dreadful call, I will know you are just fine and happy.”
• “Lazy boy, I was very surprised to hear your message last night. I already forgot I still have a son in Chicago.”

I added this site to my Happy Links for Sad People page.
Happy Mother’s Day!!

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The results are in: so far, my Prius is getting 50.38 mpg. That includes a pretty good mix of city and freeway driving. Toyota had predicted it would get 48 mpg city and 45 mpg highway. Wow.

Even if I assume that my highway mileage would be slightly lower, at around 48 mpg, it’d only take 2.3 gallons of gas to drive the 112 miles to my mother and stepfather’s house. It would only take a little over 8 gallons to drive the 392 miles to my sister’s house.

I’m a convert. So are the local peahens.

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I’ve given four talks about internet safety to parent groups over the last two days. Here’s a brief summary of the Facebook / MySpace portion of my talk. You can also see it on my Facebook / MySpace Safety Guide for Parents page. I’ll keep that updated as time goes by.

Click here for my easy step-by-step instructions for adults who wish to join Facebook.

A Brief History

Several years ago, local teenagers flocked to MySpace and set up highly personalized, mostly public pages. When parents discovered these pages, they were appalled at some of the things their kids were posting and the fact that anyone in the world could easily see what their children were doing. So the kids set their pages to Private. This didn’t mean the skanky stuff disappeared, but at least the rest of the world couldn’t see it.

Then Facebook dropped its requirement that users have a college email address. Many high schoolers and adults joined, and now Facebook is quickly gaining in popularity. There are some communities where MySpace is still more popular, but at least in my city, Facebook is It.

What is Facebook?

Facebook is a free website where users are given their own page to post information, news, pictures and videos about themselves. When they become someone’s Facebook “friend,” that person can see their page and communicate with them. It’s a great way to find friends you’ve lost track of and keep up with what your circle of friends is doing. It’s also the primary way that many people are sharing photos and videos, because you can “tag” those videos with your friends’ names and they’ll show up on their pages too.

Why should parents care what their kids are doing online?

• Safety: You want to make sure your kids aren’t communicating with someone who intends to harm them.
• Bullying: Whether it’s nasty messages or groups dedicated to hating a person, the internet opens up whole new realms of bullying possibilities. It’s also not always kid vs. kid; sometimes, kids are saying inappropriate things about their teachers.
• Privacy: Sometimes people forget that the internet is a public forum, and somehow information that they consider private is actually public.
• Mature themes: We all draw the line somewhere, and you want to make sure your online rules are consistent with your offline ones.
• Ads: Even innocent internet pages might be accompanied by racy ads.
• Time usage: It’s addictive, and can waste a lot of time.
• Identity theft: Put the pieces together and someone can even open a credit card in your child’s name.
• Self-branding: Is your child’s online image what he wants his community, potential employers and colleges to see? Even if it’s private, there are colleges and employers that are asking for access to pages.

What’s the difference between MySpace and Facebook?

• Real names vs. pseudonyms:
  Here’s a quote from a recent study:
  “ Nearly all of Facebook’s 70 million members use their real names, while less than half of MySpace’s 110 million members use theirs.”
  I’m not surprised. I saw lots of nicknames and pseudonyms on MySpace, but the guidelines and the culture of Facebook really encourage people to use their real names, and not hide behind an anonymous facade. This results in more honest dialogue and discussion, and less inappropriate behavior than on MySpace. After all, if you’re yourself, you’ll have to answer to what you post when you see your Facebook friends in real life.
• Privacy:
  Facebook also has extensive, customizable privacy controls. Last time I checked, your only options on MySpace were either a private or a public page. On Facebook, one can choose to only show photos to friends, or friends of friends, or one’s network, or everyone. Same thing goes for videos, groups joined., etc.
• Ads:
  MySpace puts any ad, anywhere. A high school church youth group page might have a “Want to have an affair?” ad above it. At least at the moment, Facebook ads are more targeted, and I don’t see that happening. Middle-aged women are asked if they need a chiropracter or want to buy shoes, and their husbands are asked about rock ‘n roll fantasy camps.
• Constantly improving:
  Facebook seems to improve at a quicker pace than MySpace, which makes it safer and more fun to use.
• Cleaner interface:
  MySpace pages allowed so much customization that they were often cluttered, unreadable and loud. Think yellow writing on a black background with repeating sports logos and heavy metal music playing. On the converse, all Facebook pages have a grid pattern and a white background. They’re much more tasteful, and much easier to read.

Safety Tips:

• Only let people be friends if you know them in person
• Revise & frequently review your privacy settings
• Use a different password for every site. Use a formula so you don’t always need to write them down.
• Post as few identifying facts, such as your address and the city and date of your birth, as possible
• Don’t assume you have privacy
• Make sure no one’s set up a fake page for you
• Don’t visit porn sites or sites selling questionable wares. Besides that they’re inappropriate, they often leave spyware or viruses on your computer.
• Don’t share your password with anyone except your parents
• See what others have to say about an application before you add it.
• Don’t add too many applications
• Don’t add applications that ask for a password
• Don’t join inappropriate groups
• Don’t post pictures, videos or other information about other people unless they approve
• Once you’re logged in, don’t log in again
• Make sure you have a computer operating system, firewall and anti-virus program that update automatically
• Back up your computer regularly
• Block and report anyone that sends you unwanted or inappropriate communications
• Consider signing up for Lifelock as a backup to prevent identity theft. I signed up after my mail was stolen a few months ago. I still take steps to protect my identity, but I’m glad I have the backup.

Steps parents should take to make sure their kids are safe on Facebook and other websites:

• “Children under 13 years old are not permitted access to Facebook. In addition, parents of children 13 years and older should consider whether their child should be supervised during the child’s use of the Facebook site.” (Source: Facebook)
• Keep internet-connected computers in plain view
• Join Facebook before your kid does (if possible)
• Add friends, applications, groups, photos, etc. to your own page so that you know how it all works
• Be your kid’s “friend” – in full profile!
• Be your kid’s friends’ “friend” (if possible)
• Don’t stalk or embarrass your child. If you send him a message, it’s private. If you post something on his Wall, it’s public, and all his friends can see it.
• Get your child’s username and password. If your child starts exhibiting strange or self-destructive behavior, you’ll probably want to see what’s going on online. Otherwise, you’ll probably never need this. But have it just in case.
• Check your child’s profile regularly.
• Challenge them to tell you something about their friends.
• Check your child’s privacy settings with them.
• Share safety tips with them.
• Don’t assume Facebook or other parents will monitor your child’s safety. That’s up to you and your child.
• Set limits on time and access.
• Balance trust & monitoring - trust your intuition.

Internet security software:

Some people choose to monitor and restrict their child’s online activities using security software. I don’t, since I don’t want anything else on my computer that might mess it up and I don’t suspect that my kids are up to anything, but here are some things the software can be used for: (source)

• Filter sexually explicit graphic descriptions or images: These tools block your child from viewing most sexually explicit material on the Web. But be aware, no filter is perfect.
• Monitor your child’s online activities: These tools allow parents and caregivers the ability to monitor your child’s online activities through a variety of methods.
• Limit the amount of time your child spends online: These tools can limit the amount time you child spends online. Some tools allow parents to block out times of the day when the child can or cannot go online.
• Block your child’s personal information from being posted or emailed: These tools prevent a child from giving strangers their personal information (e.g. name, home address, etc.) while they are online.
• Browsers for kids: These are Web browsers that serve as a gateway between your computer and the Internet. Browsers for kids generally filter sexual or otherwise inappropriate words or images. They are often designed to be easier for kids to use.

Programs include:

Learn which programs satisfy your needs and computer system at GetNetWise.org

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Yesterday was the third day that my teenage daughter was sick. The illness had progressed from fatigue to an earache to chest pain and a cough. I didn’t want to have to schedule an appointment with her pediatrician, since my schedule was wacky, and I didn’t want to wait for several hours at the urgent care clinic.

My “aha!” moment came when I read yesterday’s Wall St. Journal article about how some in-store medical clinics are closing down for lack of patients. I recalled seeing a banner for the Minute Clinic outside our local CVS, so yesterday evening we headed on down there. I’m a convert! She saw a wonderful, qualified nurse practitioner who checked her ears, her chest, etc. and then prescribed an inhaler, an antiobiotic and Mucinex. We walked a few feet away to the pharmacy, which had our prescription already on their computer, and we were out of there 15 minutes later. It doesn’t get any easier!

Although the Minute Clinic doesn’t take our insurance (HealthNet PPO) at the moment, hopefully they will soon. At any rate, they have a promotion where they’ll only charge you your copayment if your insurance doesn’t cover their services. They cover many tests and ailments, including: bronchitis, ear infections, sinus infections, swimmer’s ear, pink eye, cholesterol screening, mononucleosis, athlete’s foot, shingles, and a whole host of vaccines. You can see the complete list here.

Please visit them when you don’t want to hassle with other options! I want enough people to visit so that this local treasure doesn’t ever go away!!

The best part of the story is that the treatment is working. My daughter left for school today with more energy than I’ve seen in days.

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I wish I wrote as well as Maureen Dowd:

re: Hillary Clinton:

“…speaking from the back of pickup trucks and doing shots of populism with a cynicism chaser, Hillary emerged from a lifetime of government limos to bask as queen of the blue-collar prom.”

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When I got my braces off right before high school, I had a sudden boost in self-confidence. After a lifetime of bad teeth and metal mouth, I could finally smile without embarrassment. I felt a little guilty for being so happy, since my mother had always taught me that what mattered wasn’t how I looked, but what was in my heart. Even so, I knew that I was living in a society that valued attractiveness, and getting the braces off gained me a few points in that department.

Perhaps that’s why I was so struck by the photos below. They’re before and after photos of women in the June, 2006 show “The Swan.” They were treated to every possible beauty treatment, including plastic surgery. I hate to say it, but they do indeed look much better in the “after” pictures. Seeing these makes me wonder whether I would assume different things about the women depending upon how they look. Hopefully I wouldn’t. It also reminds me that it’s no surprise that wealthy women often look more attractive. (Though that can be a chicken and egg thing, too, for our society often rewards attractiveness with wealth.)

Where does one draw the line? Would I be a hypocrite to criticize someone for having a nose job or having Botox injections, when I had teeth removed to get my braces?
Judge not, lest ye be judged.

And besides, my family has made it clear that when my hair turns completely grey some day, they want me to dye it. Ugh. I don’t even like to wear makeup.

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When I started kindergarten in North Arlington, NJ in 1968, all of my classmates were White. My parents told me that Black people weren’t allowed to live there. It bothered them, and I think my mother marched in protest marches. Thankfully, within a few years towns were forced to let anyone live in them.

My Mexican-American in-laws faced similar discrimination in Wichita, Kansas. Among other indignities, they weren’t allowed to drink from the same water fountains or swim in the same swimming pools as Whites. When my mother-in-law wanted to go to college, an administrator told her that “Mexicans don’t go to college,” even though she was born in Wichita. (She eventually got a nursing certification, as shown in this photo. That’s my husband as a cute little boy.) Even though my father-in-law was an Army veteran, when the family moved to Kansas City with my husband in the late 1960’s, they weren’t allowed to buy a home where they wanted to. Thankfully, they purchased a home in a school district that wound up getting better, and my husband and his sisters got very good educations and all three went to great colleges.

I was reminded of all of this today when I heard on NPR that Mildred Jeter Loving died on Friday. Mildred and her husband, Richard, were the plaintiffs in the 1967 Supreme Court case Loving v. Virginia, which struck down miscegenation laws. Mildred, who was part Black and part Native American, married Richard, who was White, when she was just 18. She didn’t intend to be a groundbreaker, and said that she was just a girl who fell in love with a boy. “It wasn’t my doing,” she said. “It was God’s work.”

Thank God for Mildred & Richard Loving and others like them who have blazed the trail so that I could marry who I wanted, and so that my husband and I could buy the home we wanted. Our country may not be perfect, but I appreciate the freedoms I have here that I wouldn’t have in many other places.

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If last night’s crowds are any indicator, the Americana mall is the new heart of Glendale. The two-acre park in the center of the 15.5-acre complex is a natural gathering place where mall patrons can enjoy world-class fountains, a trolley, a playground, a large, grassy area and live music. The mall itself is pretty upscale. Just like its smaller, older sister, The Grove, it’s anchored by a huge Barnes & Noble and a movie theater. Restaurants include a Cheesecake Factory, a fancy Japanese restaurant, a Pinkberry (why can’t they ever open on time?) and a creperie. Stores I remember seeing include Free People, Anthropologie, Chico’s (coming soon), Juicy Couture, some ultra-high end baby stores and a few foreign stores I didn’t recognize. I think we’ll still give the Glendale Galleria our business for the bulk of our clothing purchases.

We rushed through the mall on our way to see the movie Ironman in the mall’s big new theaters, but along the way I took a few pictures. Here’s the northeast corner of the mall, on Brand Blvd. Note all the other people taking pictures. Here’s the south end of the fountain in the mall’s central park. It reminds me of Rockefeller Center in New York City. The fountain’s jets were coordinated with music, and people were ooh’ing and aah’ing over how extraordinary the other part of the fountain looked. (That picture didn’t turn out as well.) It’s hard to tell from my pictures, but the crowds were quite diverse. I like that.

Here’s a picture from the LA Times story about the mall. It’s weird to see it so empty.

If I had a little kid, I’d be incredibly tempted to buy this sock monkey shirt:

Instead, teenagers want these cool red glasses. Funny, but not as cute as a monkey shirt. We didn’t get them.

Here’s the view as we left. I couldn’t stick around longer to get the exposure right, but this gives you an idea of how cool it looked.

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Here’s a unique Google Map mashup: School Safety & Security Incidents. It shows the location of recent incidents of school violence, natural disasters, intruders, accidents, etc. If you click on a symbol, it’ll give you a brief summary of the incident and a link to further information. You can choose how far back you want the map to include data for, and you can filter by type of incident. Of course, you can zoom in to see what’s happening in a specific area.

I was skeptical when I first saw this. I didn’t think I’d find anything applicable to my life. Wrong! I found that there’d been a bomb found in a school near my sister-in-law, and that the disaster plan at a local university didn’t work.

You might be surprised at what you discover in your neck of the woods.

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Once again, the La Canada High School 7/8 PTA put on a great Home Tour. This year’s houses were all uniquely special. My favorite was the Asian Modern house designed by Jack Simison. I’m not usually a fan of 1960’s architecture, but the large, free-flowing rooms and large windows were perfectly suited to its mountaintop location. It was very private and peaceful. The koi pond and 270-degree view of the San Gabriel Mountains and the ocean didn’t hurt, either!

The Plantation style house was, of course, amazing. It was huge and tastefully decorated. I’d be happy just living in the guest house! The Spanish Revival house was another favorite. The thick walls and covered patios made the whole house cool and peaceful. It’s probably good that I don’t live there, however, as I wouldn’t be as diligent about furnishing it with authentic Spanish furniture.

Ironically, my least favorite was the one designed by Lloyd Wright (Frank’s son). It was a fascinating house, but all the odd angles made it tough to personalize, and much of the furniture was built in. The closets were small, and it’d be tough to deck out a modern office with enough file cabinets and space for printers. The native gardens around the house were in full bloom, as indicated by the picture below:

As great as it was to see such beautiful houses, I had even more fun seeing so many friends there. It was like a little annual reunion.

Save the first Friday of May, 2009 for next year’s Home Tour!

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I’m no longer a minivan-driving soccer mom. As of last night, I’m a Prius-driving Whole Foods-shopping Democrat.

But actually, the only thing that’s changed is the car. I’m still me.

I love this little blue car. It’s quiet, fuel-efficient, and has a GPS and lots of storage. Hopefully I’ll keep it as long as I kept my last car.

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I just got a new car today, so I think that counts as Christmas, birthday, Mother’s Day and anniversary combined. But if you’re still looking for a great gift for mom/wife, here are a few of my faves from Etsy.com. Of course, if the item is sold out by the time you click on the link, see what else is in the seller’s shop. They often have duplicates or similar items.

(Sorry I don’t have pictures of everything…I need to get off the computer and read the car manual!)

“Because I Said So” Earrings
They’re in French! Oooh la la!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11402360

Apron
I know it’s tres 50’s, but these aprons are beautiful!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11374055

Bird nest locket
Perfect for a mom with three kids
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=10940843

“Love You To the Moon and Back” Sterling Cuff bracelet
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11404425

Custom Photo Pendant for Mother’s Day
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11404422

Personalized Sterling Heart Mother’s Necklace
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11404243

Motherly Meddling - Vintage Text on Soldered Glass Charm Necklace
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11401462

Custom Circle Necklace…Your Words, Phrase, Quote…Choice of FONT
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11401514

Rock Star Mama antiqued sterling charm necklace
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11399998

“There will be a 5.00 charge for whining” (sign)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11252620

Personalizable Angel Cherub Digital Artwork
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11364357

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Have you ever answered a question that was so far-fetched you couldn’t believe it was even being asked?

That’s how I felt today when I saw the following poll in the Christianity Today email newsletter:
“Should a Christian school fire members of its faculty who divorce?”

Here are the results so far:

I’ve been happily married for nearly 21 years, so this isn’t a personal issue for me.

I think it would be awful for someone to either be afraid to divorce because they’d lose their job, or to get divorced and then lose their job at the same time. I’m all for putting lots of effort into making a marriage work, but I’m not going to judge someone who’s made the painful decision to get a divorce.

Maybe the people who think it’s ok to fire someone for divorcing are themselves perfect. Somehow I doubt it, however. I think we should be showing divorcees love, not judgment.

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That’s my favorite quote from today’s NY Times article about college admissions (or lack thereof): College’s High Cost, Before You Even Apply. The message: kids (and parents) should mellow out and not define themselves by the “prestige” of the college that accepts them.

Students complain about lack of sleep, stomach pain and headaches, but doctors and educators also worry that stress tied to academic achievement can lead to depression, eating disorders and other mental health problems.

“There are some kids who can handle it,” says Denise Pope, a Stanford University education lecturer and author of “Doing School,” a book about stress and academics. “But some of these kids have had college on the brain since sixth or seventh grade or even earlier. When you have that kind of stress over that kind of time, that’s where it starts to worry us.”

Ms. Pope is trying to teach students and parents to get some perspective:

“College admission is how a lot of people are defining success these days,” says Dr. Pope, founder of the group. “We want to challenge people to achieve the healthier form of success, which is about character, well-being, physical and mental health and true engagement with learning.”

Amen to that! I hope my children work hard but retain balance in their lives, develop healthy relationships with others, and stay ethical (no cheating or Ritalin!) in their quest for excellence. I hope they’re genuinely excited about where they wind up going to college, and make the most of wherever they go.

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Viva Berkeley Breathed! Yesterday’s Opus cartoon spoke volumes to me:

Are my kids White with a Latino father? Or are they Latino with a White mother?

WHY DOES IT MATTER?!?!?!?

Vote for the best candidate, not one just because they match your gender or race. Appreciate the fact that our country has advanced enough that race and gender don’t prevent a person from being a viable candidate, then vote for the person you think has the best leadership qualities.

I’m so sick of this race.

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How ironic that the following two news stories wound up next to each other on my iGoogle LA Times news feed:

1. Many South LA students frightened and depressed, survey finds
   The report, prepared by a youth group with help from Loyola Marymount, says that the conditions of their schools is contributing to a loss of hope and drive.

   A survey of 6,008 South Los Angeles high school students shows that many are frightened by violence in school, deeply dissatisfied with their choices of college preparatory classes, and — perhaps most striking — exhibit symptoms of clinical depression.

2. A $100-million gift for Harvard
   David Rockefeller’s donation for use in the undergraduate arts and travel programs sets a new alumnus record.

   Philanthropist David Rockefeller donated a record $100 million to Harvard University’s undergraduate program, the largest gift by a Harvard alumnus in the history of the oldest and richest U.S. college, the school said Friday.

Good for Harvard. But honestly, aren’t those students already provided for? Imagine what $100 million could do for the public school students in South Los Angeles…

Popularity: 6% [?]

Who cares how many clowns you can stuff in a car when you can stuff elephants in a truck?

This picture was taken by esteemed photographer Jill Freedman, and a slide show of her amazing work can be found on the NY Times website.

Note the name of the circus on the truck: Clyde Beatty. This picture was taken in 1971. In June, 1973, that same circus set up camp on the Roosevelt Common field next to the high school in Tenafly, NJ. I was 10 at the time, and attended it with my family.

What I remember most is that an elephant stepped on a trainer and killed him. Thankfully, I didn’t see it happen. But now I understand better why one of those elephants might be angry enough to do that.

What a tragedy. People shouldn’t treat animals this way.

I actually found an article about the incident in the NY Times archives. Here’s an excerpt,

Circus Helper Crushed to Death By Elephant He Was Handling

TENAFLY, June 4 - A 45-year-old circus laborer was picked up and thrown to the ground twice yesterday before being crushed to death by an elephant he was handling after a performance on Roosevelt Common.

The laborer, Alvin Kelly of Dallas, was helping to water a group of 13 elephants following the afternoon performance of the Clyde Beatty Circus.

…

“We have reports that Kelly had been drinking heavily earlier in the day and that might have had something to do with the elephant’s actions,” the spokesman said. “He also was carrying a big stick, which he may have poked the elephant with at the wrong time.”

The elephant, the police spokesman said, is now with the circus in New City, N.Y., where it had a performance today. “The elephant is a problem for the circus to take care of, not the police,” the spokesman continued.

About 10 years ago, I took my kids to see the Clyde Beatty - Cole Brothers circus perform in the parking lot of the Freehold, NJ mall. One of the guys in the motorcycle/hamster wheel act lost his timing, and almost fell. The act stopped abruptly. I wonder if small circuses take more risks than bigger ones, to get more attention. I felt that as a paying customer, I was complicit in encouraging them to take potentially life-threatening risks.

———————————

PS - If you haven’t already read Water for Elephants, I highly recommend it. It’s about life in an old-time circus.

Popularity: 10% [?]

Just kidding. Bad idea.

But I couldn’t resist the analogy after watching the following two shows back-to-back on my Tivo last night:

• An ABC Nightline interview with Jenna Miscavige, daughter of Scientology leader David Miscavige. Jenna spoke about what it was like to grow up in the Church of Scientology, and what drove her to leave.
• The movie Offside, about Iranian girls who dressed like boys to try to see a 2006 soccer match between Iran and Bahrain which will determine which team goes to the World Cup finals.

I felt like we had a Repression Film Night. The Nightline interview reiterated for us how wacky Scientology is, and how it has serious issues with anyone who disagrees with it. (I guess this blog post means I won’t be invited to Tom & Katie’s any time soon!) As for Offside, it offered a view of Iran that we seldom get in the West. The girls tried to use logic to convince the soldiers to let them see the game, but the soldiers weren’t driven by logic. They lived in fear of their Captain, and didn’t want to mess up their own chance to finally get out of the military. So the repression continues.

Ironically, as repressive as Iran is, Offside made it clear that Iranians are quite proud of their country. In fact, my husband pointed out that it’d be folly for us to ever think we’d have a chance of winning a war against such a patriotic country. I agree.

So once again, last night I was once again reminded how fortunate I am to live in a country that values freedom, and to practice a religion based on love, not repression.

Additional links:

• Great blog posting about Offside
• Legendary Spy Magazine article about Scientology
• Tom Cruise expounding on Scientology (video)

Popularity: 7% [?]

The Blue Zones Vitality Compass is the best web application I’ve ever seen for calculating life expectancy. Not only does it take into account basic body size/weight information, but it also accounts for whether you’ve ever been diagnosed with a disease and what your eating, exercising and social habits are. And it’s free.

Here are my results:

I can only hope it’s correct! (Kaynahora!!) Of course, it can’t take into account drunk drivers, natural disasters, undiagnosed diseases, terrorism, etc.

Unfortunately, to find out how I could add two years to my life I’d have to pay $9.99. But I can guess what they’d say: eat more nuts (but they don’t know I’m allergic), exercise more (I already exercise about 3x a week) and eat more than 9 servings of fish per month.

This site’s a good reminder to stick with or adopt healthy habits.

Popularity: 3% [?]

Do you ever get tired of reading about all that’s wrong in the world? I do. The world is full of wonderful people who do amazing things, but their stories are often ignored by the media.

Former CNN anchor (and fellow college classmate) Daryn Kagan is determined to find these people and tell their stories. Her website, www.DarynKagan.com, uses videos to tell the stories of people who have accomplished extraordinary feats for themselves and others.

Daryn’s summarized many of these stories in her new book, “What’s Possible! 50 Stories of People Who Dared to Dream They Could Make a Difference.” I couldn’t put this book down. I thought that fifty stories might be a bit overwhelming, but each one of them was so special and inspirational that I wanted to read more. Each one of the stories is sticking with me, and I’ve mentioned some to my family and friends. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Sebri Omer, an Ethiopian immigrant who gave up half of his successful gas station business to fund a hospital in his native land;
• Henri Landwirth, a Holocaust survivor who founded “Give Kids the World,” a group which treats children with life-threatening illness to a memorable visit to the attractions of Central Florida;
• Zainab Selbi, who survived Saddam Hussein’s dictatorship and went on to found Women for Women International, which helps other women war refugees;
• Bob Nameng, who went from being a Soweto street child to founding Soweto Kliptown Youth (SKY) to help give the children and young adults of Kliptown hope for the future;
• Paula Lucas, who founded the American Domestic Violence Crisis Line to help women like herself who were being abused on foreign soil;
• Ken Wyniemko, who got heavily involved in The Innocence Project after he was released after being wrongfully imprisoned. (The Innocence Project estimates a 5% failure rate in the judicial system, which translates to 100,000 people wrongly imprisoned!)
• Jacquelyn Mitchard, who emerged from a tough time in her life to write The Deep End of the Ocean, which wound up being selected for Oprah’s Book Club.

These are only a few of the amazing stories Daryn tells. By the end of the book, I think anyone would be compelled to stop any future whining and find a way to make their own mark on the world. Read this NOW!

Popularity: 5% [?]

I signed the following online petition, and urge you to also. You can find it here.

$4.8 billion cut to the California state’s public schools

Target:U.S. House of Representatives, California State Assembly, California State Senate and US Senate

Sponsored by: Laure P Carnahan

Governor Schwarzenegger proposed a suspension of the minimum school funding guarantee, Prop 98. That funding currently constitutes more than 70 percent of total K-12 funding in the state.

Such suspension equals a $4.8 billion cut to the California state’s public schools.

Quality education is the most valuable asset for present and future generations. Achieving it requires a strong commitment from everyone, including governments, teachers, parents, community and students themselves.

Prop 98 is a good thing for schools because it makes sure we have increases in funding. I am in support of keeping Prop 98.

I was signature #9,982. Perhaps you’ll wind up being #10,000! (or even higher would be better!!!)

Check it out. Was what I said pointed enough?

Popularity: 6% [?]

If you commit a crime, don’t do it here! According to today’s NY Times,

The United States has less than 5 percent of the world’s population. But it has almost a quarter of the world’s prisoners.
…

If you count only adults, one in 100 Americans is locked up.

The article cites the following reasons:

• Americans are locked up for crimes — from writing bad checks to using drugs — that would rarely produce prison sentences in other countries.
• Our prison terms are often longer.
• We have higher levels of violent crime, primarily due to guns.
• We have a legacy of racial turmoil.
• The war on drugs is taken more seriously here.
• Americans believe in more severe punishments.
• Many people lack a social safety net.
• Many judges are elected, and try to prove themselves by being tough.

This is shameful. Aren’t we supposed to be The Land of the Free? Our society is failing people if we need to lock so many away. It’s also failing them after they’re locked up. Many of our prisons are human warehouses, where criminals crowd together in dangerous conditions and don’t make any progress toward rehabilitation. It’s no wonder our recidivism rate is so high.

This high incarceration rate has ripple effects. Families are ruptured and prisoners who aren’t rehabilitated have difficulty finding employment. So much money is used to maintain the prisons that the schools aren’t able to adequately educate students to help them avoid falling into a life of crime. And let’s not forget that if they do commit a criminal act as a minor, they’re likely to fall victim to a bait and switch and be tried as an adult, with a longer prison term.

Does this high incarceration rate reduce crime? Results are mixed.

“The simple truth is that imprisonment works,” wrote Kent Scheidegger and Michael Rushford of the Criminal Justice Legal Foundation in The Stanford Law and Policy Review. “Locking up criminals for longer periods reduces the level of crime. The benefits of doing so far offset the costs.”

There is a counterexample, however, to the north. “Rises and falls in Canada’s crime rate have closely paralleled America’s for 40 years,” Mr. Tonry wrote last year. “But its imprisonment rate has remained stable.”

So here’s what I prescribe:

• Find creative alternatives to incarceration for crimes such as writing bad checks.
• Revamp our prisons so that they actually rehabilitate prisoners and prepare them to be valuable members of society.
• Reform and fund our schools so that they produce graduates who are prepared for the workplace, not just a life of desperation and crime.
• Consider reducing the length of prison terms.
• More severely restrict the sale of guns and other firearms.
• Drugs. Hmm. Perhaps put the effort / money into finding more innovative ways of educating people why they’re so dangerous?
• Make sure the homeless and the mentally ill are taken care of.
• Appoint judges. Really - do you know much about the judges you elect? I don’t.

These reforms would take a whole lot of time, imagination, effort and money. But I think the longterm savings and social benefits to society would be worth it.

Popularity: 4% [?]

Here’s how the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “elite”:

a. the choice part : cream
b. the best of a class
c. the socially superior part of society
d. a group of persons who by virtue of position or education exercise much power or influence

What’s wrong with that? I prefer the best of the best. I’d love it if my kids got into “elite” universities, or were defined as “elite” athletes. I don’t want an “elite” person to be a snob, but I think we should all strive for excellence in what we do.

I’m sad to see that some think that calling Barack Obama “elite” is a bad thing. After all, don’t we want the cream of the crop, the best educated and most talented, leading our country?

Popularity: 4% [?]

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw what the person before me paid for gas today: $90.00. They had purchased 23.023 gallons of gas.

Wow. It’s probably not long before someone pays $100.00 for a tank of gas.

It’s no surprise that I just received this breaking news alert:

Breaking News from ABCNEWS.com:

AVERAGE PRICE OF GASOLINE HITS $3.51, BREAKING RECORD SET IN 1981, THE ENERGY DEPARTMENT REPORTS

Popularity: 5% [?]

Here’s a fascinating website: The Skeleton Closet. It includes substantiated information about presidential candidates, both past and present.

Anyone who reads this blog knows I’m an Obama supporter. Even so, I’m all for making an educated decision at the polling booth.

So check out the candidate(s) you’re considering and see what you learn…some of the dirt might surprise you…

Popularity: 3% [?]

From today’s Associated Press:

SAN DIEGO - Precious Jackson has two years of teaching under her belt and two school teacher-of-the-year awards to show for it. She also has a pink slip.

Now Jackson is a prime target for growing school districts across the country hoping to cherry-pick from thousands of California teachers who have been warned they could be laid off because of state budget woes.

This makes no sense. You’ve got a two-time teacher-of-the-year, and she’s being laid off because she’s got the least seniority. That’s so wrong, but that’s how the union contract works. And ironically, she’s probably also the lowest paid since she’s got less seniority, so the district isn’t getting much bang for the buck letting her go.

I will endorse any politician who can manage to fix that system, no matter what the party. Our kids deserve to be taught by the BEST, not just the most experienced.

Popularity: 9% [?]